The Edwards' Bloggermania
Whitt Comment No. 435119
News flash: John Edwards announced today that Jesus Christ was joining his campaign. Critics immediately questioned the move, citing Jesus' illegitimate birth, lack of credentials, his record of disrupting legitimate temple business, his association with a known prostitute, his apparent endorsement of higher taxes, rumors of homosexuality from his frequenting the company of unmarried sailors and particularly after his having been witnessed kissing another man in a public park, his anti-war statements and his treasonous comments questioning the powers of the government. Other rumors include Jesus having a foot fetish, having engaged in faith healing and in one extreme case claiming to have cast out devils and to have brought a man back from the dead. The critics also showed recent photos of Jesus as favoring long hair and a beard as well as wearing sandals, an apparent holdover from his years as a wandering hippie after his half-hearted attempt at making an honest living doing carpentry.
In a later response, the Edwards campaign distanced themselves from the scandal, saying that Jesus was only working as a volunteer and did not in fact have any official capacity with the campaign.